So I had a chat with Better Judgement yesterday and Reasoning eventually joined in on the conversation. I drafted an email probably in the heat of the moment, but Better Judgement told me to sit on it. After sharing my thoughts in bible study and a good nights rest I decided not to send this email:
It's unfortunate that you've been cold all winter long - I suppose some people are just predispositioned to be colder than others...
I'm not going to throw around trite apologies that I don't mean, but I will say that I did not intend for my stance to come off as "take it or leave it" as you put it. I mentioned in my previous email that I'm willing to compromise, and I think I've excercised that by running the heat on Monday until I went to bed, and again last night (Tuesday) when it ran until I turned it off before bed. I also said that if there's a concensus, I'll romp around in shorts and lighter t-shirts so that I will be comfortable if the heat must continue to run. I'm a little disappointed that you are not also making a concerted effort to compromise just because you assume that I've presented a "take it or leave it" stance. Again, and in case you missed it the first time, I'M WILLING TO COMPROMISE.
"The change" was implemented when you were gone, yes. But that's also b/c there was a change in the weather - kind of makes sense in my rationale. Unfortunately, you happened to have been away, but you're here now, so let's be open to discussion instead of cutting it off just b/c you were not present when we started leaving the heat off. And for the record, I don't think it was really a "decision" rather than just a natural reaction to the closer balance of inside/outside temps.
Run the numbers if you want. That's not that big of a deal to me. The deal is that the heater isn't necessary (from my stance) anymore.
Let's not get deffensive. Let's not be irrational. Let's be open to compromise. Again, I'm pretty go w/ the flow, but I can't be expected to compromise if you're unrelenting in your stance.
Better Judgement told me not to send that email. Instead, I took the high road and sent this one:
I just want to make sure that you understand that a "change" was not purposely implemented when you were gone or that it was a decision made behind your back. Rather it was more a natural reaction over the past couple of weeks to the closer balance of the inside/outside temps and the heat not being necessary to those of us who were here.
That being said, with time to consider the situation I have realized that I was a bit insensitive to your needs and desire to feel comfortable in the house. For that, I offer a sincere apology. In our discussion on Monday evening and subsequent emails, I had not meant to present a "take it or leave it" stance - that was never my intentions. I truly am willing to compromise on this issue. Shoot, if you're cold, run the heat for a bit in the evening. Let it take the chill out of the air. Our windows aren't positioned the best to catch the sun's warming rays, so yeah, it can be a little cool in here.
I don't want to write this email out like I'm giving you permission to run the heat - that's not the tone I intend. I'm just stating that I've realized that we all do have a right to feel comfortable in the house, and if you're cold and need to run the heat in order to reach a level of comfort, I won't let that bother me.
So again, I truly am sorry for not taking into account your need to feel comfortable in this house. I offer the peace pipe. :)
I'm also including a response my aunt sent me on my previous post. She sure has a way of getting to the humor in stuff:
Here we are in utah. our heat was at 68. never more all winter and now that the day temp is 60 it is off totally. As when you grew up the living room has blankies available for me or kids. I agree with you there. Also point in fact, an overly warm house is not healthy. On the other hand if you go visit your cuz Chris, you will encounter the heat on still at probably 80 plus, He is a little snake. That being said, this seems to be getting a little out of control, the old question is will all this matter in 5 years. Maybe in the ozone, but not in you life or #5 or #2 probably. Maybe a better argument is Who ate the last of the chocolate!?!?! I know you can be the better non argumentative person and start wearing your shorts and tanktop. Then you and Better Judgement can sit down to tea with The Better Person and Good Behavior. Love ya lots, Auntie
Now that this situation is hopefully all taken care of, Better Judgement, Reasoning, Better Person, Good Behavior and I are going to sit down to that chocolate. And I will have the last piece.
Showing posts with label Roommates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Roommates. Show all posts
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
It's getting hot in here...
...and it's not because of the heater!
Because I feel like being passive aggressive and airing our dirty laundry for the world wide web to see, I'm posting an email chain. Better Judgement tells me I ought not to, but Better Judgement also tells me I shouldn't smack the girl. So if Better Judgement is making me chose, I'll refrain from smacking her.
And really, you all are going to get bored w/ this, but I need an outlet to vent. I'll probably take this down in a day or two anyways...Better Judgement will probably get the best of me.
Email #1 (her typing errors went untouched and aside from mine, names are not included)
Hi ladies,
Per a discussion Chelsea and I had last night about the heater, I just to check in about what all of you thought:
Chelsea has expressed quite strongly that she does not want to run the heater any more. I think it's a good idea to focus on conserving energy (for cost as well as environmental reasons!); however, I do not think it's reasonable to not run the heater when it is in the mid-40s outside (check out the weather online: highs in the low 60s, lows in the low-40s). When we're not home, I think we should leave the heater off, and in the evenings, I think it's fine to turn it down.
But until it becomes nicer outside, I think it's perfectly reasonable to set the thermostat at an appropriate level (previously we had settled on 70; we can talk about whether it makes sense to change this). I do not think it is reasonable to demand that I huddle under a down blanket, with an extra sweatshirt, especially when I pay nearly $900 a month.
True, running the heater does increase our utilities some. Of course, so does running the air conditioner in the summer. (And to be honest, I usually find our house far too cold in the summer...so I pay a premium during those months to live with you all who like the house colder). Finally, I can run the numbers, but I will assure you that running the heater adds only marginally to our monthly utility cost- $20 per month per person at most. You can tell me if I'm wrong, but I would venture that each one of us easily spends that on a single dinner or two out in a given month.
-5th Roommate
Email #2
Obviously we know where I stand on this.
The temperature outside is warming up, and the house no longer seems (at least to me) to be cold. Perhaps there are evenings when there is a little chill in the air, but that warrants a sweater, not the heater - at least, that's how we did it when I grew up.
The lows are listed to represent when the temperature is at its lowest, generally in the middle of the night. I've never woken up cold, not even during the winter months. If anyone is still cold during the night, I'd suggest an extra blanket. I've already put away my flannel sheets and folded up my extra quilt so if anyone is cold and needs an extra quilt, I've got one.
I don't think that when you came upstairs the other night that 2nd Roommate and I were implying that you should "huddle under a down blanket." That suggestion was meant for when you're sleeping if you're still cold. The sweater suggestion is legitimate. I find the amount you pay in rent to be irrelevant to this argument unless you're implying that since you pay more your say should count as more...???
I don't want to seem difficult and come off as stubborn and unrelenting. I am willing to compromise and I feel like I'm pretty go-with-the-flow in most regards, but if it's just one person who is feeling the chill, I don't find it necessary to run the heat in the entire house. Turn a space heater on, or use one of the throws if you're in the living room, etc. Perhaps I'm blessed w/ more body fat and don't get as cold as others, but that's where I stand. If others are still cold and insist upon running the heat, then I suppose I'll start wearing shorts around the house so we can run the heater... But it's upper 50's to low 60's out. That's pretty darn good weather.
And since you brought up the air conditioner, I can withstand the heat and don't need it icebox cold in the house. I'm w/ you on that one.
Chelsea
Email #3
5th Roommate,
I don't want you to think we are bullying up on you but I would have to agree with Chelsea on the heater. The heater was off all last week and the house was fine. I think I was cold maybe one of the evenings but I just put an extra sweatshirt and wool socks on and I was fine. Maybe you could just try for a while putting an extra layer or putting a throw blanket over your lap. If you are still unreasonably cold then we could reaccess the situation with the heater. I would like to cut back on costs and conserve on energy as much as possible. Even if it is only a difference in $20 a month I could use that money toward buying groceries. Honestly I find it pretty rediculous to be paying close to $800 to share a bedroom. The cost of utilities are out of control.
I also have fleese sheets that I dont use as well as an extra down blanket it you would like to borrow them.
2nd Roommate
Email #4
I will get back to you on this, once I'm home and can run the numbers as to exactly how much extra we're paying in utilities because of the gas. I will affirm my point however: that we ALL agreed that 70 was a reasonable place to set the thermostat. I think that's a reasonable point to operate on until we ALL decide that it should be changed.
Sorry.
As far as an extra fleece and sweater- when you talked to me, Chelsea, I WAS wearing a sweater...I feel like it's unreasonable to bundle up to all levels in the house. I have been cold all winter, even running my space heater.
I'm not saying that because I pay $900 a month my 'say' should count more. What I'm saying is that I think we are ALL paying in to have a house and experience that we can live with. I don't think it's fair because a few of you have decided that you like the house colder that you make me change something that we had already agreed upon. I think it's particularly egregious because you simply used the time I was out of town to implement it, and then inform me when I return that I had better live with it.
2nd Roommate, as far as spending an extra $20 on groceries....I recognize that finances are tight for all of us right now. But I have always believed these things are about budgeting. We all are spending money, every month: whether that be on eating out, more expensive groceries, money to put toward summer trips, clothes, or etc. I can venture to say that $20 per month is a drop in the budget bucket for anyone making more than $20,000 per year.
Part of living in a house means sharing utility expenses. I wasn't here last week, so I didn't use any of the utilities. Does that mean that I should only pay 3/4 of the utility bill next month? No, of course not, because being part of a house means sharing the expense of shared usage...some of us are here more during the day, some of use more or less lights, water, heating, etc. I would hope that in the end of the day it all evens out, or at the very minimum is no longer an issue for us.
(On the note of electricity: If we want to conserve energy, I suggest we turn out the lights we're not using I am constantly (and by constantly, I mean at least 5-7 times every day), turning out unneeded hall lights to the upstairs, from the downstairs entryway, etc.)
Finally, I would say that I would have been willing to work with you on this. But the way the change was implemented ('take it or leave it") was inconsiderate, compels me to stick by my position until we ALL agree on a better compromise.
Sorry.
(That was from 5th Roommate)
End email chain
(I haven't drafted my response yet. Better Judgement tells me to sleep on it. And I've got bible study tonight so maybe I could pray to God to warm her internal temperature...and maybe her heart too...)
Back me up on this Mom! It's upper 50's to lower 60's during the day and dips to the 40's at night. Is that cold??? I mean really? Does that warrant the heater being ran at 70 degrees? Am I being unreasonable? And Mom, what do you have on the couch in case we get cold? It's a blanket, am I right? What do you set your thermostat at? And don't you turn it way down or totally off at night when we're all sleeping under our covers? If you were in my position, wouldn't you have it off by now? It's April! Spring sprung two weeks ago. The temperature of the house right now at 5:00pm on a cloudy day is 68 degrees. Isn't that comfortable? Mom, one last question, what was the temperature outside when you stopped running the heater? Yeah different climates and locations and all, but it's all relative.
If 5th Roommate thinks she's cold here, I'd like to see if she could survive a Flagstaff winter at Charlotte's house. Thermostat was set at 50 during the night and never went above 68. And we're talking real winters with snow and everything.
Now that that's off my chest, I'm going to have a chat w/ Better Judgement.
Because I feel like being passive aggressive and airing our dirty laundry for the world wide web to see, I'm posting an email chain. Better Judgement tells me I ought not to, but Better Judgement also tells me I shouldn't smack the girl. So if Better Judgement is making me chose, I'll refrain from smacking her.
And really, you all are going to get bored w/ this, but I need an outlet to vent. I'll probably take this down in a day or two anyways...Better Judgement will probably get the best of me.
Email #1 (her typing errors went untouched and aside from mine, names are not included)
Hi ladies,
Per a discussion Chelsea and I had last night about the heater, I just to check in about what all of you thought:
Chelsea has expressed quite strongly that she does not want to run the heater any more. I think it's a good idea to focus on conserving energy (for cost as well as environmental reasons!); however, I do not think it's reasonable to not run the heater when it is in the mid-40s outside (check out the weather online: highs in the low 60s, lows in the low-40s). When we're not home, I think we should leave the heater off, and in the evenings, I think it's fine to turn it down.
But until it becomes nicer outside, I think it's perfectly reasonable to set the thermostat at an appropriate level (previously we had settled on 70; we can talk about whether it makes sense to change this). I do not think it is reasonable to demand that I huddle under a down blanket, with an extra sweatshirt, especially when I pay nearly $900 a month.
True, running the heater does increase our utilities some. Of course, so does running the air conditioner in the summer. (And to be honest, I usually find our house far too cold in the summer...so I pay a premium during those months to live with you all who like the house colder). Finally, I can run the numbers, but I will assure you that running the heater adds only marginally to our monthly utility cost- $20 per month per person at most. You can tell me if I'm wrong, but I would venture that each one of us easily spends that on a single dinner or two out in a given month.
-5th Roommate
Email #2
Obviously we know where I stand on this.
The temperature outside is warming up, and the house no longer seems (at least to me) to be cold. Perhaps there are evenings when there is a little chill in the air, but that warrants a sweater, not the heater - at least, that's how we did it when I grew up.
The lows are listed to represent when the temperature is at its lowest, generally in the middle of the night. I've never woken up cold, not even during the winter months. If anyone is still cold during the night, I'd suggest an extra blanket. I've already put away my flannel sheets and folded up my extra quilt so if anyone is cold and needs an extra quilt, I've got one.
I don't think that when you came upstairs the other night that 2nd Roommate and I were implying that you should "huddle under a down blanket." That suggestion was meant for when you're sleeping if you're still cold. The sweater suggestion is legitimate. I find the amount you pay in rent to be irrelevant to this argument unless you're implying that since you pay more your say should count as more...???
I don't want to seem difficult and come off as stubborn and unrelenting. I am willing to compromise and I feel like I'm pretty go-with-the-flow in most regards, but if it's just one person who is feeling the chill, I don't find it necessary to run the heat in the entire house. Turn a space heater on, or use one of the throws if you're in the living room, etc. Perhaps I'm blessed w/ more body fat and don't get as cold as others, but that's where I stand. If others are still cold and insist upon running the heat, then I suppose I'll start wearing shorts around the house so we can run the heater... But it's upper 50's to low 60's out. That's pretty darn good weather.
And since you brought up the air conditioner, I can withstand the heat and don't need it icebox cold in the house. I'm w/ you on that one.
Chelsea
Email #3
5th Roommate,
I don't want you to think we are bullying up on you but I would have to agree with Chelsea on the heater. The heater was off all last week and the house was fine. I think I was cold maybe one of the evenings but I just put an extra sweatshirt and wool socks on and I was fine. Maybe you could just try for a while putting an extra layer or putting a throw blanket over your lap. If you are still unreasonably cold then we could reaccess the situation with the heater. I would like to cut back on costs and conserve on energy as much as possible. Even if it is only a difference in $20 a month I could use that money toward buying groceries. Honestly I find it pretty rediculous to be paying close to $800 to share a bedroom. The cost of utilities are out of control.
I also have fleese sheets that I dont use as well as an extra down blanket it you would like to borrow them.
2nd Roommate
Email #4
I will get back to you on this, once I'm home and can run the numbers as to exactly how much extra we're paying in utilities because of the gas. I will affirm my point however: that we ALL agreed that 70 was a reasonable place to set the thermostat. I think that's a reasonable point to operate on until we ALL decide that it should be changed.
Sorry.
As far as an extra fleece and sweater- when you talked to me, Chelsea, I WAS wearing a sweater...I feel like it's unreasonable to bundle up to all levels in the house. I have been cold all winter, even running my space heater.
I'm not saying that because I pay $900 a month my 'say' should count more. What I'm saying is that I think we are ALL paying in to have a house and experience that we can live with. I don't think it's fair because a few of you have decided that you like the house colder that you make me change something that we had already agreed upon. I think it's particularly egregious because you simply used the time I was out of town to implement it, and then inform me when I return that I had better live with it.
2nd Roommate, as far as spending an extra $20 on groceries....I recognize that finances are tight for all of us right now. But I have always believed these things are about budgeting. We all are spending money, every month: whether that be on eating out, more expensive groceries, money to put toward summer trips, clothes, or etc. I can venture to say that $20 per month is a drop in the budget bucket for anyone making more than $20,000 per year.
Part of living in a house means sharing utility expenses. I wasn't here last week, so I didn't use any of the utilities. Does that mean that I should only pay 3/4 of the utility bill next month? No, of course not, because being part of a house means sharing the expense of shared usage...some of us are here more during the day, some of use more or less lights, water, heating, etc. I would hope that in the end of the day it all evens out, or at the very minimum is no longer an issue for us.
(On the note of electricity: If we want to conserve energy, I suggest we turn out the lights we're not using I am constantly (and by constantly, I mean at least 5-7 times every day), turning out unneeded hall lights to the upstairs, from the downstairs entryway, etc.)
Finally, I would say that I would have been willing to work with you on this. But the way the change was implemented ('take it or leave it") was inconsiderate, compels me to stick by my position until we ALL agree on a better compromise.
Sorry.
(That was from 5th Roommate)
End email chain
(I haven't drafted my response yet. Better Judgement tells me to sleep on it. And I've got bible study tonight so maybe I could pray to God to warm her internal temperature...and maybe her heart too...)
Back me up on this Mom! It's upper 50's to lower 60's during the day and dips to the 40's at night. Is that cold??? I mean really? Does that warrant the heater being ran at 70 degrees? Am I being unreasonable? And Mom, what do you have on the couch in case we get cold? It's a blanket, am I right? What do you set your thermostat at? And don't you turn it way down or totally off at night when we're all sleeping under our covers? If you were in my position, wouldn't you have it off by now? It's April! Spring sprung two weeks ago. The temperature of the house right now at 5:00pm on a cloudy day is 68 degrees. Isn't that comfortable? Mom, one last question, what was the temperature outside when you stopped running the heater? Yeah different climates and locations and all, but it's all relative.
If 5th Roommate thinks she's cold here, I'd like to see if she could survive a Flagstaff winter at Charlotte's house. Thermostat was set at 50 during the night and never went above 68. And we're talking real winters with snow and everything.
Now that that's off my chest, I'm going to have a chat w/ Better Judgement.
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